Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
When are your genitals available?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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