Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
It's just like the Real World with babies
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
