I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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