i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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