i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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