whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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