I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
nutella sex= disaster
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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