After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
