You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
