I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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