I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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