Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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