There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
