That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
