i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
