Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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