my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
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