I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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