"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
