I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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