it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
This house was built for laser tag.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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