she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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