38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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