I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
