singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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