whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I will die if light touches me.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
