is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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