Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
