It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
