I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize