i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
