Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
