I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
She just used a chaser for red wine.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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