is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize