I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
You dont lie about slip and slides
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
