it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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