I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
