Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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