We're like a lot better than the average bears
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
