u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
