Do you still have your period?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Just puked most of my soul out..
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
