do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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