I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
