I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Randomize
