The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize