Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
