And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
