God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
