and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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