I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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