I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize