it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Randomize
