I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
