Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
