i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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