she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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