:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
