PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
