yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
We named our party play list daddy issues
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize