we have officially lost it.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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