I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
We're like a lot better than the average bears
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize