Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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